Yep. I’ve been MIA for a reason. After finding out in January that my husband’s job was relocating him (at the time we didn’t know where) I found myself in a not-so-great place. I was pissed to be frank and then felt guilty at the same time because this was a GREAT opportunity for my husband. I was happy with the way things were, very happy with work, and we were starting to plan things out for baby no. 2. Now we had to move – away from family, from work, from friends, from the BEACH?! Ugh. Yeah, not thrilled. I even contemplated not moving – making things work long-distance. Why would I give up such a perfect situation?! My mother watches Navy while my husband and I are at work, something I am SO grateful for. My sister lives right down the road (basically). My job is awesome: I work with great people, I have a great boss, and the benefits are great too. Not so common to come by – trust me I know. My friends that I’ve had for years are here. PLUS I’ve always wanted to stay ‘home.’ I stayed at home and went to college rather than ‘going away’ for this reason. I didn’t take promotions at my previous job for this same reason. I just have a need to be close to family.
That’s where my head was at. I’m better now – ready for a new phase and adventure. But I’m still struggling with something. Balance. I’m the kind of girl that wants it all. I want the family, the job, the life. I’ve always wanted a career, always loved to work. I want that corner office with floor to ceiling windows. BUT I’ve always wanted a family and be involved with my children. After having Navy I realized how strong this pull was. I was torn between wanting to be home with Navy and wanting to get back to work. If it weren’t for my mother being able to care for Navy (the only other person I know that would care for her like I would), I would have stayed at home. With the move, I’m basically being forced to stay at home or put Navy in daycare – something I’m not really happy about. So, for now, this working momma (who’s had a steady job since she was 14) is going to attempt to be a Stay at Home Mom (SAHM). I’m excited but totally terrified at the same time. WTF I’m I going to do with myself – and WTF am I going to do with Navy so that we don’t end up driving each other crazy?! I know how big of a job being a SAHM is. So, I’m not going into this thinking it’s going to be all rainbows and sunshine. Any tip or tricks from current stay at home moms would be greatly appreciated! AND, what about money? I’ve always made my own. I like being able to buy things I want without having to ask or feel guilty for spending money that I didn’t earn. I’ve been looking into ways to make money from home – so we’ll see (more blogging is definitely on my list). I’ve got a mean shopping habit that I’m not exactly willing to give up, so I need to make some money to fund that habit.
Anyway, there’s my long rant explanation for why I’ve been so absent, not just from my blog but from life. I tend to go total introvert when I’m stressed and have a lot on my plate. You’ll be seeing more posts soon — as of next week, this Florida girl will be living in Tennessee with a lot more time to kill!
If y’all know of any fun places to go in Tennessee, let me know!
PS: Here are a few pictures from Easter! Totally unrelated to this post but too cute not to share.
You will endure great things by getting out of your comfort zone. I believe you will find a new found independence, and you will feel empowered by it. Growth within is one part of life’s blessings that no one can give or take away from you.
From my experience, a SAHM is one of the hardest jobs around. I’m not a sugar coating kind of girl, so I’ll give it to you straight. I am not built to be a SAHM. As much as I love my children, and wish I were like “those moms” that were born to be moms, I’m just not! Those moms love to spend every waking moment loving on, teaching, spoiling and doing whatever those perfect moms do. And I enjoy alone time. I need alone time whether that be working or getting out to run errands. I need to have time to myself to collect my thoughts without little ones constantly needed my attention.
I give it up to those moms that are able to tolerate and enjoy their kids 24/7! I so wish I were more like them. The only advise I have is for you to plan. If you have a plan for what’s going to happen then the day seems to go by faster and more smoothly without tantrums for being bored or struck by the unexpected. What I mean is, let Navy know what the plan is and what you expect. Seems to work better for my son if he anticipates what’s to happen. Gives him a reason to behave if he’s looking forward to something. And helps him understand when I ask something of him. I also keep him very busy with helping me around the house. He’s very independent as a three year old. He dresses himself, takes his own showers, obviously goes to the bathroom, puts his dishes away, cleans his room, almost anything I do, he can do. With a new born now it has help tremendously. And I feel like he’s learning responsibly at an early age. He’s accountable for himself. He’s still a three year old, and acts like one, has normal fits, but he’s learning and getting into a routine that hopefully he will keep for himself one day. We have also recently found out that we are most likely moving to NC. At that point (fingers crossed) I plan to go back to work. The baby will be old enough and Liam will know what I expect of him while I’m away.
Trust me, I don’t claim to have all the answers. Nor do I believe that my parenting ways are the best. They just happen to work well for my family. If it helps in your case, that’s wonderful! If not, I have no doubt you will be an amazing SAHM and I’ll then view you as one of “those moms” Also. 🙂 Best of luck and God bless you and yours.
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Angel, I totally understand where you’re coming from. I’m a little weary of being around Navy 24/7. When you’re working you can at least catch a few minutes to yourself. I love how independent your son has become — trying to do the same thing with Navy! Thank you for all of your tips!
Annie, I can relate to much of what you feel. I loved my hometown of Pensacola and had no desire to move away….life had other plans for me when I fell for and married a military man! The Army took us around the South and three cities in Germany. I missed my family but kept in close touch with them. I got to experience new places and meet new people who have been life-long friends. I think it made me and my husband rely on each other more and gave us an even greater appreciation of family.
I stayed home with my boys the first few years and it was one of the best decisions I have ever made. I was 100% there for them during those important formative years…and I loved being with them. Does it ever get dull or stressful?….of course, it does…but so does work…..and any other job isn’t near as rewarding in the long run. Raising a child is the biggest, most important job anyone can have!
As for guilt over not earning your money….as a SAHM you more than earn the right to share the household income…..it is certainly not a slacker job!
I happen to know you have a wonderful husband who loves you and Navy SOOO much! I am so glad you three will be together again…I hope you enjoy the discoveries and challenges ahead. That is how we grow and gain wisdom.
This is just advice from a woman who is old enough now to look back with clearer vision and few regrets. I hope you have few in life, also. I wish your sweet family God’s great blessings. Always take care of each other. Please, tell Travis we all miss him at the store
Sincerely, Brenda
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Brenda, thank you for your words of wisdom 🙂
And I will definitely let relay your message to Travis!
Give & take; push & pull; yin & yang – life’s a compromise. Mom and Dad aren’t going anywhere (except to see you) – the Fort will always be here. K-Paw, Ross and I all went away but came back. In between we saw new stuff, different cultures, different climates, fantastic landmarks, snow, mountains…
There is Skype. Look up places you feel comfortable leaving Navy – like pre-school fun. Market yourself as a personal shopper with a mascot (and if they so happen to want cupcakes, so much the better).
Lots of words to say strike out and explore new things while you’re still young enough …. we love you and we’re always here back at the Fort. (P.S. I liked Dollywood better than Orlando, BTW). Love always, Anti-Karen
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Aunt Karen , I love y’all back! I’m excited for the adventure and to explore new places — and to check out Dollywood. 🙂 Since I won’t be working, I’m planning on coming back frequently so Navy (and I) can see everyone. So we will still be around!
Hey Annie! I just want to say I absolutely love your blog, even if you haven’t posted a lot! I actually ran into yours through Jennifer’s Leibster Award post and realized you’re Travis wife (he use to be one of the managers at Belk, where I previously worked). Thought I’d say congrats to the both of you! ☺️
But, to give you advice on becoming a SAHM after working for so long, it’s definitely rough. I went through the same thing after I had my daughter. Depending on how mentally stable you are, staying at home will literally either drive you up the wall and depressed or it’ll be something you can easily grasp and become well adjusted to. For me, I had a very hard time. I too had a shopping habit I didn’t want to give up, but luckily my fiancé is working a job that could support that and my daily Starbucks addiction lol. I did have a pride thing about asking for money at first to buy little things like stuff from Target’s Dollar Spot section or just “lunch money” to go out with my girlfriends. Eventually it’s just something you’re either going to have to get use to or just find a way to make money at home, which I ended up doing both.
I will be completely honest though, finding ways to make money at home are almost never legitimate. You run into more scams than actual resources for work at home jobs. The only one I’ve been sticking to so far was selling my kids clothes through an app called Totspot. Majority all SAHMs live on that app for some source of income. And the other thing is to blog. I just started blogging this year and as a mom with a 4 year old in school and a 20mo old that stays at home with me, it’s tiring trying to keep up with a blog and actually post good content. Between January and now, I learned a lot about blogging and how you can make money off of it. It does start slow, but once you understand the blogging world, income can start rolling in sooner than you think.
So if you ask me, find a niche whole you’re at home! It’ll help a lot! And try not to drive yourself nuts lol. Wishing you the best of luck as a SAHM. You’ll be great ?